Misguided Ghosts
by WickedLovely21
Summary: Clary is torn between to guys. Should she pick Simon, her best friend who knows everything about her. Or should it be Jace, the one with a secret no one expected?
1. Are We The Waiting

**Clary**

_Slap. Slap-slap. Slap. _Clary could hear her shoes hitting the pavement while she ran. Her pace matching the rhythm of her current favorite song MGMT's _Kids. _Each morning she got up, put on her worn-down running shoes, and ran along her favored path of the park closest to her house. She still wonders if it can even be called a park anymore. The forest has long since reconquered the land as it's own. She loved the way you can walk into the forest not expecting anything but trees and ferns and then suddenly there is a concrete path weaving in and out of the trees leading you to seemingly unknown places.

Every since she turned 14 Clary ran. She's ran before but never for the pure enjoyment of it. When her father, Valentine, and her mother, Jocelyn, moved her to this new city, Clary felt trapped and vulnerable. She hated the stares she received from her new classmates; how they looked at her worn shoes and old clothes made her eyes water and her throat burn with unshed tears. So one day, she left school early and went into the forest a few miles away from her house. That was when she found the hidden path, and that was the day she figured out she loved running. Since that day 2 years ago, Clary got up at 5 in the morning and ran. She left all her fears and insecurities behind and chased away all the bad thoughts in her mind.

Now, as she was finishing up with her route, Clary heard a branch break and stopped suddenly. Looking towards the noise she thought about what she should do. _Should I run away? What if _He _followed me? What if it isn't _Him_ at all, what if it is someone, something, else...? _With that last thought Clary's breath hitched in her throat and her heart pumped hard in her chest. Slowly she bent down and grabbed a particularly large rock, prepared for anything.

**Jace**

It was on a whim that Jace chose to go through the forest that day rather than walk down Main St. where all the shops were. Jace was no stranger to the walk of shame but on this particular day, he didn't want people's eyes on him while he was thinking about last night. It started out as any other Friday night, Alec and Izzy took him to a club where they didn't ID you and he got slightly tipsy and hit on people, guys, girls it didn't matter to him. But last night he saw a girl that made his mouth go dry and his knees go weak. She was 5'5, a few inches shorter than him, with long dark brown hair and lightly tanned skin and plump pink lips. She was wearing what he thought was a odd choice, a long skirt with a tank top; whereas most of the girls here where in short skirts and tight shirts. But that wasn't what caught his eye, it was her eyes. They were the most amazing eyes he's ever seen, amethyst eyes. Thinking back, he should have known that she wasn't just an ordinary girl.

Once she noticed him staring at her, she started walking towards him. He shifted nervously on his feet and licked his lips. _Dammit Jace, get it together. It's just a girl, like every other girl. So what if she has gorgeous eyes and an amazing body. No reason to lose your cool. _While he was silently talking himself up he saw her point to him and tilt her head to the door and walk outside. For a minute he just stood there staring after her, thinking about what just happened, then he slowly picked his way through the crowd and followed her out the door.

At first he thought she left him, then he saw her leaning against the wall of the club in the alley and watching him. He bit his lip and moved towards her. "Hi, I'm Jace." _Hi, I'm Jace? Wow, real smooth man. _"Hello, I'm Aislinn. I saw you staring at me. Why?" _Okay okay, keep it cool. She's only talking to you; not like she has the most amazing voice you've ever heard. Not a big deal. _"Oh.. I'm sorry if I freaked you out," Jace answered biting his lip. "No, not at all. Actually I was looking at you, too." As she answered she moved in front of him and ran her hand down his chest. "You were like sunshine in that club. Everyone else was shadow and darkness compared to you." Aislinn slowly moved closer and bit his lip. Jace moaned softly and put his hands on her hips. "I-" was all he could manage before she kissed him roughly. He spun her around and pressed her into the wall his hands on either side of her. He kissed her back hard and they didn't stop till both broke apart, chests beating hard with their hearts both working overtime to their excitement. Aislinn grabbed his hand and started walking. "Come on, let's finish this at my place," she said. All Jace could do was follow her.

That morning Jace left her apartment feeling tired and overused and loving it. He had never felt so alive before. Having sex with Aislinn was nothing like he'd ever experienced. While he took the shortcut through the forest to his house he thought about her: how she felt under his hands and that sound she made when he hit the right spot. Jace shook his head clearing his thoughts. _She was just a one-night stand. Nothing to obsess over. I won't ever see her again..._ But even with his mind telling him not to think about her it didn't help. He could still smell her on his clothes and feel her on his skin.

He was almost to the weird concrete path when he heard footsteps. Jace stopped and looked around wondering who it could be when he saw Clary Fray running down the path. Her breathing was fast and her wild red hair stuck to her forehead and neck slick with sweat. _What is that weird girl from school doing all the way over here? _Jace never really talked to her. He only knew her from some classes they both take together but he's heard of the rumors people spread about her. How she was a whore, how she was celibate, poor, obscenely rich but wore old clothes ironically. How she had a drunken dad and no mom, and how she was in the hospital for a couple of weeks but no on knew why. Weirdly enough though, no one really knew her story and she's been at his school for 2 years. It was that moment when he accidentally stepped on a twig and he silently cursed his luck. He just wanted to go home take a shower and try to forget about the beautiful girl named Aislinn. He watched and she stopped and looked around fearfully and bent down to grab a rock.


	2. Whatsername

I just wanted to thank all the people that read my story and the few that reviewed.

I don't own any of these characters, all the props go to the lovely Cassandra Clare.

Enjoy

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**Clary **

Clary could feels eyes on her from somewhere in the woods. All she thought about was that night, back home, where the men came out from the alley and.. _NO. Don't think about that. It won't help the situation. If something is out there you need to be focused. _Clary concentrated on that voice in her head trying not to feel stupid with the rock in her hand. If it came down to it she knew that this little rock could be the deciding factor between life and death. She clutched the rock in her right hand and said, "Hello? I know you're there. Please, I don't want any trouble." Her voice shook as she spoke and the voice was back in her head telling her to stay strong and don't let them see you weak.

Suddenly, she caught movement to her right and whirled around bracing herself for the worst. She relaxed slightly as soon as she noticed it was that guy from school. _What was his name? Jake, James, or something like that. _Her breath coming out slightly too fast to be normal she asked, "Aren't you from my school?" She realized she still had the rock still clutched in her and slowly dropped it to the ground feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry. You scared me. I didn't think anyone knew about this place. And even if they did, it's 5 in the morning on a Saturday.." She trailed off lamely knowing she babbled when she gets nervous. "Hi, yes I go to your school. I'm Jace." _Jace! That's his name. _"I don't usually come into this forest but it's a short cut to my house and I really just wanted to get there quickly."

His words were nice enough but his tone was standoffish and slightly rude. She assumed he heard of the rumors that have been thrown around her and felt slightly sad. She didn't even know how they started. One day she was just a girl that was in class and the next there were whispers shared behind her back and nasty stares from almost everyone. Everyone except Simon. Shaking her head she looked down and stared at the ground while she said, "Oh.. Well I'm just running. Don't let me stop you." She gestured for him to keep walking. Clary wanted nothing more than to finish her run take a nice hot shower and start on her homework. Maybe go to the park today and sketch something beautiful. Sketching gave her a reason to get out of the house and get away from _Him. _Clary looked at Jace waiting for him to say something. When she realized he wouldn't she just started running again, trying not to think about the way the sun shown into his eyes making them shine. _No. Don't even go there. You know that would be a terrible idea. Like he would even see something in you other than a freak. _

**Jace**

Jace could tell Clary knew him the moment he stepped into view. He saw that recognition in her eyes. When she asked him if he was from her school he wanted to say, "Of course I'm from your school. Do you really think someone that looked like me could be mistaken for someone else?" Being sarcastic and cocky were his default settings. But today he didn't feel like talking to anyone so he just replied as quickly as he could and stood there to wait for her to say something. He knew he sounded rude but he didn't really care at that point.

He couldn't help but notice that her hair looked like flames in this early morning light and her green eyes beautifully contrasted with her hair. _Beautifully contrasted? What the hell is wrong with me? First Aislinn and now Clary. Seriously, what is happening? _Shaking these thoughts from his head he watched her mouth move but didn't actually catch the words. All he wanted to do was go home. _I just want her to shut up already. _He stared at her until she realized he was done talking. She said something else that sounded like a question but he continued to stare at her. Finally she got the hint and ran off. Jace couldn't help but watch her as she ran away. Her calves alternatively flexing and relaxing, her ass looking so damn good in her short running shorts. _Oh God, what is happening to you? Stop looking at her body and go home. Don't even think about feeling attracted to her. She'll ruin everything you've built to create. _

Listening to that voice in his head, Jace slowly worked his way through the forest to his house. Seeing his bed look so welcoming, he fell unceremoniously on top and quickly fell asleep, hoping no one would bother his few precious hours of sleep before football practice.


	3. Welcome to Paradise

**Clary **

Clary's alarm screeched at her to get up. How she let Simon get it for her she'd never know but, after several days of her being late, he bought it. It's cute she'll give him that, all robin's egg blue and adorably retro, but that incessant noise was going to make her throw the little alarm clock against the wall. Sighing she got up from her bed and rubbed the sleep form her eyes. She got up and stumbled towards the shower. _If I'm late again Si will kill me or, even worse, get me and even more annoying alarm clock. _Slowly she worked her way through her morning routine, showering and brushing her teeth and hair, then quietly going down stairs. She didn't want to wake her father up or he'll be really angry with her and she's already having enough trouble hiding the bruises as it is. She doesn't need more.

_Just hurry and get to school. You'll get to see Si and everything will be better. Maybe even.. _She shook her head clear of all the thoughts about that annoyingly beautiful golden boy she met a few days ago. Clary grabbed her backpack and all but ran from the house to her school.

Once she got there she saw Si leaning against the building smoking a joint. She smiled to herself. _I don't know why but he never gets caught. It's kind of cute how he challenges everyone to rat him out but no one ever does. _Ever since Simon beat up some guys that were being rude to Clary, no one ever spoke against her or Simon again. Clary walked up to him and wrapped her arm around him nuzzling her face into his chest. "Hey Si, want to put that out and go inside? You know what will happen if a teacher sees you."He just looked down at her and put his arm around her back, throwing the joint to the ground and stomping at it with his feet. "I've been doing this for years now. I'm the master of this school. No one dares to defy me!" Clary giggled and walked away from Simon. They both new he was wrong but they didn't care.

Simon followed her into the school and threw his arms around her shoulders dramatically. _Oh Si. _For as long as she's been here, he has been her friend. Even on the first day when everyone automatically pegged her as a freak, he was there throwing his arms around her and acting like they've been friends forever. Everything was easy with Simon. They loved the same things and would have nerd-a-thons every other weekend, arguing over if Star Wars or Star Trek is better. He would even let her stay over on some nights when being with her father became too much. Simon was the only one in the world who knew everything about her, it scared at first but now she was just glad to have him on her side no matter what.

Clary brought her hand up and laced her fingers through his and leaned into his side. _Si, si, si, my knight in shining armor, keeping all the bad things away and starting good things with your lovely smile. _Sometimes she thinks about what it would be like to kiss him and just show him her feelings but she knew he wouldn't like it. Simon was off limits and has been from the start. She had better chance of kissing Jace then Simon. With that thought running through her head, Clary caught sit of him down the hall. He was surrounded by his jock friends and was laughing hysterically. She made a small sound of surprise and bit her lip. _Oh god, how have I never noticed his laugh before. It's gorgeous. I can listen to it for hours. And that smile... _Clary scoffed at her wayward thoughts and leaned closer to Simon. _Just get through today and forget about Jace, you'll be back at Simon's in no time. _With that thought she trudged into her first class and daydreamed alternatively about Jace and Simon. All throughout the day she had a contest in her head about who she thought would be better.

_You're so messed up. You can't compare two completely different guys. _Clary smirked at her thoughts and continued with the little game in her head. By the end of the day she was surprised by the result; it was a tie. She decided to continue the game later and ran to join Simon at his car. When she got in, he was listening to Green Day and singing along. Clary smiling and leaned back, closing her eyes and listening to him. _He has such a lovely voice. _She often told him he needed to start a band and finally he did. They practice every other day after school in his garage. She loved to just sit in the recliner and listen to them play a song or, more often then not, bicker about what the band name should be. After three months of being together, they still haven't figured out a name.

Once they got to Simon's house Clay gathered up her sketchbook and pencils and automatically relaxed into the fluffy green recliner in Simon's garage. She saw Simon smirked at her and went up to kiss her forehead, "Don't fall into the rabbit hole, little Al. Stay in the land of the living, we might need your advice on something." Clary punched his arm lightly and blushed. She knew she tended to forget the world when she drew and it sometimes embarrassed her how hard it was to get her mind back from where it went when she drew. Laughing, Simon backed away and went to get his guitar. Clary smiled then started drawing the first thing that came to her, the tea party in Alice and Wonderland, Tim Burton style, because, let's face it, who doesn't love the Mad Hatter.

Suddenly Clary felt her ear being tweaked. She gasped and looked up into Simon's brown eyes, she looked around and noticed everyone gone and blushed. "What time is it?" she asked. Simon smiled and played with her hair, "It's 8 p.m., sweetheart. You've been lost to the world for three hours." Clary blushed and looked down, "I'm sorry. Can I stay here tonight, Si?" "Of course, Clary. Come on let's go get you some food then a nice big sweater to wear." Simon poked her tummy and she laughed. Clary loved that he knew she liked to sleep in sweaters and he always found new ones in thrift shops around the city for her.

**Simon**

_God, she's beautiful. _Every since he has seen that fiery red hair and those emerald eyes, Simon knew he wanted to be her friend, and for the past couple of years he has been. But recently, every time she's stays over he sees the bruises on her shoulders and stomach and all he wants to do is wrap her in his arms and show her the love that he knows she deserves. _I want to show her how I feel..._ Simon gasped at his thought no he can't think that. He can't risk losing his precious little Red. He needed her in his life and in his arms, even if it's just as friends.

Sighing at his wayward thoughts, Simon brought his mind to the present and to the beautiful girl in front of him in the amazingly cute oversized grey sweater with the purple unicorn on it. He opened his arms and laughing when she flung herself on him and cuddled against him. Since that first day they've been like this, hugging each other and holding hands and the like. Simon rubbed her back softly, knowing she still had a few bad bruises, and softly sang into ear. She slowly started drifting off and he kept singing to her, running his hands through her crazy hair and loving the soft sigh she gave in contentment.

"Love you, Si," Clary sleepily mumbled and Simon's heart soared. "Love you too, ClareBear," he whispered. Simon leaned down and softly kissed her nose then wrapped them up in the blanket and turned off the light.


	4. One Of My Lies

**Jace**

_God, I hate Tuesdays. _Jace sighed and rolled over turning off the alarm clock that sat on the side of the bed. He groaned and got up and stumbled to the bath. Today was the day he would go to the therapist like every other Tuesday. Once his parents, Stephen and Celine, found out he occasionally cut they got him a shrink and forced him to go every Tuesday after school. _Fuck you Alec, TRAITOR! _Jace continued to curse Alec in his mind while he relived that day almost a year ago.

It was after football practice which had been a particularly tough one. Coach Hodge had gotten pissed and forced the whole team to run for something the jack ass Jonathan said. Jace was getting in the shower next to his best friend Alec. Everyone was doing their thing and not paying attention to either of them. Jace started rubbing shampoo into his golden hair when he heard Alec's sharp intake of breathe. Frowning, Jace turning to him, "What's up?" Alec shakily pointed at Jace's arm. Jace froze, just remembering the cuts he gave himself yesterday; they ran from one side of his wrist to the other in perfect horizontal stacks. He stared at Alec, silently begging him to keep quiet. Alec looked into his eyes and Jace wondered what he saw there. Alec bit his lip and looked away, Jace knew there was no hope for Alec to keep quiet. Jace hurriedly got done with his shower and went home as fast as he could planning on telling his parents anything to keep them from believing Alec. But Alec got there first. Apparently, he called Jace's parents after he got done showering and told him about the fresh cuts and the scars on Jace's arms. When Jace got home he saw them standing against the island, his mom with a tear streaked face and his dad with a stern look of disappointment. Jace sighed and looked down and asked, "Now what?"

Now thanks to Alec's big mouth Jace had to go to that stupid therapist. _And today was even worse. That stupid shrink is going to make me go to a group meeting. _Jace brought himself back to the present and got ready for school definitely trying to forget the fact that, in only 8 hours, he'll have to bear his soul for all those strangers to see and he just wasn't ready for that yet.

**Simon**

Simon woke up to his stomach being poked, he groaned and open his eyes glaring at Clary. "Clary what the hell?" She just laughed and started jumping on the bed. "Ugh, I swear to God, the Universe, or Doctor Who of Gallifrey, if you don't stop jumping on my bed, woman, I'm not going to make you those coconut pancakes like Taki's." To his amusement, Clary gasped and immediately stopped jumping. "Oh Si, no. You can't do that. You know I need my coconut pancakes. They are the only things that get me through school. And besides, you can't swear to Doctor Who. He isn't real!" Catching his bluff at the pancake threat, she started jumping. Simon tackled her and forced her back onto the bed gently, smirking at her glare. "Well Clary, we both know I will always make you coconut pancakes but don't you ever disrespect the Doctor or the Tardis is going to fly down here and be very angry at you." Laughing he kissed her nose and went to the kitchen. _Oh that girl, always talking shit about Doctor Who. _While he mused on the absurdity of Clary and the fact that she never accepted the reality of the Doctor, Simon made pancakes.

Once he was done he called her down and started making her a plate. When he looked up her saw her and stopped cold. _Oh my god... _Simon couldn't stop staring, she just looked so beautiful. She was wearing a little yellow dress and her hair was in a bun and she had his ring on her thumb. _She's perfect. _Simon couldn't help himself, he just couldn't. He slowly walked up to her staring into her beautiful green eyes. "Clary..." He moved closer and ran his thumb across her cheek, loving the slight blush his touch brought to her face. She just stared at him and he slowly brought his lips down to hers.

Simon pulled away breathing a little harder than normal and bit his lip looking down at her, "Umm... your foods ready. I.. I have to get to school and finish a paper. I'll take a bus, use my car the keys are hanging up. You can just come back here and wait for me till I'm done with Magnus." And with that he left feeling incredibly stupid. _Ugh.. I can't believe I just did that. What was I thinking? Oh right.. I was thinking because she just looked so beautiful and I've been wanted to do that for months. Oh well.. it's all on the table now, we'll just see what happens.. _Silently thanking who ever was listening for giving him and Clary a different schedule this year, Simon headed for the bus stop.

**Jace**

Jace cringed as the last bell of the day went off. He dejectedly gathered up his things and went to his locker, spotting Alec leaning on his locker and few feet away. A few weeks after the incident, the two refused to acknowledge the other's existence. Jace was angry, feeling betrayed that his best friend would tell; Alec was also angry, mostly at himself for not noticing, but also at Jace. Alec felt betrayed, angry that Jace never told him. Or so Jace was told. After about a month of not talking Alec ran up to Jace and begged him to forgive him and Jace happily did so. He won't ever admit it but he was lost without his best friend.

Now Jace walked up to Alec, "Hey, want to hang out after my session?" Alec looked up at him and Jace could tell what he was going to ask. "Sure, or I could go with you?" For about two weeks Alec has been asking Jace if he could go with him to a session. Jace didn't know why and whenever he asked Alec would just shake his head. "Alec, for the last time, no. Why do you even want to go? I don't even want to and I'm the one who cuts." Jace sighed and looked at his best friend. "I'll text you after, Alec. I have to go or I'll be late."

Entering the lobby Jace could see that it was going to suck. There were roughly 10 people, teenagers mostly, gathered in a circle with Magnus setting up the refreshments table. Sighing, Jace walked to an open seat and watched Magnus. Today he was wearing bright blue skinny jeans with an orange button up and a purple vest. His hair was spiked all over and faint traces of glitter were all over his body. _Holy fuck, will I ever get used to him. Magnus. Does he think he's cool asking us not to call him Mr. Bane? How old is he anyways? _Jace still hasn't got used to his therapist.

Magnus walked up to the circle and asked everyone to introduce themselves. Jace tuned out until a tall brown haired boy stood up and said his name was Simon. _Hey! I know him. He hangs out with that freak runner chick from the forest. Clary. _Seeing him made Jace not want to be here but suddenly it was his turn. He stood up and put his best smirk on his face. "Hello, my name is Jace and I officially welcome all of you silently or openly worship my perfect body." With that he sat down and looked at Magnus, waiting for him to continue with the meeting. Magnus just sighed then looked at everyone, "So, I'm glad you're all here. First I'd like us to some trust exercises. Could everyone please pick a partner?"

Jace stood up and waited for someone to come to him. To his surprise it was Simon, "Hey, I'm Simon. You're Jace right? Nice speech. Next time try not to be so cocky, it really doesn't work if you're annoying the hell out of everyone." Jace just glared at him and turned towards Magnus waiting for instructions. Magnus looked around the room and nodded, "Okay so everyone has a partner? Great. Now here is what you're going to do. Trust falls. Oh, come on. No groaning. I need you to put you're life in each others hands and trust. Now come on, off you go. Fall to your fake deaths." Jace turned back towards Simon who just raised his eyebrows and turned around. Grinning, Jace took a few steps back. "Okay man, you're good. Fall."

Simon fell with a loud thud and everyone turning towards them. Jace was laughing but Magnus was glaring at him. Simon stood up quickly and tackled Jace punching him in the side. Jace went in for a hit to Simon's face but someone pulled Simon off Jace and lifted Jace off the ground. "NO! You will not fight! That's it. Jace, Simon, before next Tuesday I want both of you to learn more about each other. I want both of y'all to get over you're stupid bickering and TRUST each other. No excuses. This session is over." With that Magnus dumped Jace back to the ground and left the room.

Jace looked up glaring at Simon and Simon glared back. He got up and marched off to his car, angry that he let him get under his skin. Once in his car, Jace punched the wheel and screamed. _Why?! I don't NEED this. Now that little freak is going to know everything and he'll tell the whole school and my life will come tumbling down. _Jace was surprised to feel tears on his cheeks. Trying to calm down, Jace called Alec and told him to come over to his house in a few minutes with some alcohol. After he hung up, Jace wiped his eyes and drove towards his house.


	5. Castaway

**Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for reading and reviewing.**

** I wasn't really happy with the originally story line so I changed it. Sorry!**

**Also, I'd love to get messages about what you think might happen or, better yet, what you want to happen. If I like your prediction I may even incorporate it into the story. **

**Disclaimer, I do not own these characters; they belong to lovely writer, Cassandra Clare. **

**Enjoy:) **

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**Clary**

Clary pressed her fingers against her lips for the millionth time today. All throughout school, she couldn't help but think about the way Simon looked at her and the way his lips felt against hers. _Okay definitely never losing this dress. _Smiling, she twirled on the street happily thinking of Simon. _I just need to go home really quick and get some clothes. Then I can wait for Simon at his house. _He _should't be home. _Glancing at her watch, Clary grimaced and picked up her pace. She knew her father got off work around 4 but she still walked a little faster, she remembered last time she got home and found out he got off work early. Clary winced at the thought and walked faster still.

Finally she was home. Clary walked up the steps to her house and slowly opening the door. She listened hard but all she heard was silence and she smiled. _He isn't home yet. Good. _She ran to her room and quickly grabbed everything she needed, stuffing them into her bag. _Now I can say at Si's for a few more days. _Grinning she went to the bathroom to get her make up, not hearing the front door open and close. Once she got everything she needed, Clary grabbed her back and skipped down the stairs.

"Going somewhere?" Clary froze and looked up seeing her father leaning against the door. She swallowed and licked her lips, "I-" Clary barely got a word out before she felt a slap across her face so hard her lips started to bleed. "Don't you dare even consider lying to me, girl. Remember who I am. Show me some respect." Clary looked down, refusing to acknowledge that he slapped her. She knew to stay quiet or it will just get worse. "Yes, sir. I wouldn't lie to you."

Her father just glared at her then noticed the bag she had around her shoulders.

"What's in the bag?" Clary looked up at him and bit her lip. "Just things I need for school." Valentine looked at her and said, "Well you wouldn't mind me going through it then would you?" Clary froze again and her hand went up the strap on her shoulder, "But, it's just school stuff. Why do you need to?"

Realizing her mistake quickly, Clary backed away. Valentine's face grew hard, his eyes narrowing, and he took a step towards her then pushed her against the wall. "How dare you question me. How dare you defy me! I am you Father." He gripped her biceps hard, leaving bruises she knew would be difficult to hide. Clary winced and looked away, not wanting to look into the eyes of the man she was forced to call her father. He hasn't been her father for a long time. He punched her in the gut, making her double over. Clary wrapped her arms around her stomach waiting for him to get done. After one more punch to her face, he relented and stepped back. "That'll teach you. Now go, I don't want to look at your pathetic self." Hauling herself up from where she'd fallen after her father punched her, Clary slowly walked out the door and stumbled towards Simon's house.

She let herself in and curled up on the couch, her arms around her stomach, and waited for him to get done with Magnus. After a few hours Simon walked in the room, he smiled and went over to clary. "You wouldn't bel-" Simon stopped talking suddenly once he really looked at her. She could she his eyes widen and then he grabbed her gently and pulled her into his arms. It was only in the comfort of his arms around her that she finally let herself cry. After thirty minutes of crying, she stopped. Clary knew it wouldn't help anything to cry; nothing would change the way that man treated her.

Leaning into Simon, Clary sighed heavily and whispered, "Don't go anywhere." She always had nightmares after a particularly bad day with her father and only Simon helped her. "I wouldn't leave no matter what, Clary. I'll be right here. I won't let anything touch you, sweetheart." Simon slowly rubbed her back and hummed into her hair. She knew they needed to talk about what happened this morning but she figured it could wait. Clary settled down and fell asleep in his arms feeling safe.

**Jace**

_Today is going to be a good day. _Jace had gotten up early, he even had time to eat breakfast. Smiling, he pulling into the school and got out of his car. Glancing around he noticed only a few people were here, but none of his friends, so he just went into his homeroom and sat down to wait. Looking around the classroom, Jace saw Clary sitting a few desks away. _Why does she look so sad? _Feeling a strange urge to talk to her, Jace got up and sat in the desk in front of hers. He turned around and looked at her, "Hey. It's Clary right? The girl from the woods." He could see her look up in surprise when he sat down and even more surprise when he started talking to her.

"Umm... yea I'm Clary and you're Jace. Look, no offense but why are you talking to me?" Jace frowned at her and then remembered how he acted in the woods. _Man, I must have been a dick. _Jace sighed and said, "If this is about the forest thing, I'm sorry. I was tired, I had a long night before, and just wanted to go home." Jace could she her forehead wrinkle and the look of confusion in her eyes, her head tilting to the side like a puppy. _Wow, that's fucking adorable. Wait what? Since when do I think Clary is adorable. _Shrugging away his thoughts Jace just ignored them, in too much of a good mood to care about his reputation or what people would think about seeing him talking to "the freak."

"I know I acted like a grade-a jerk and I'm sorry." Finally realizing he was being genuine Clary's face lost the confused look and she smiled. "Oh, then you're forgiven." Jace smiled and asked, "So you were running. Do you do that a lot?" Jace could see her smile slip from her face and she looked down. "Well, for two years I've been running there but I haven't in a few days. I haven't been home."

Jace frowned at that and was about to ask where she's been when the bell rang and she got up. She bent down to grab her bag and put it around her shoulders, her shirt riding up a little. That's when he saw the dark purple skin of her stomach. Jace gasped and looked up at her. "Clary..?" He saw her look up at him, her faced confused at the tone of his voice. She opened her mouth to speak then, seeing where his eyes were, she looked down and hurriedly pull down her shirt. Jace just stared at her the question in his eyes.

_What the hell? Is she okay? Should I call someone? Who did this to her. What happened? _All these thoughts were in his mind while he just stared into her big green eyes. He was about to speak these thoughts out loud when her face just hardened and he watched her walk out the classroom. Jace was about to follow her when he realized that, while he was talking with Clary, the room was slowly filling with people. Sitting back down, he didn't want to attract too much attention.

All through the day he thought about that bruise on her stomach. Now that he thought of it, he had seen traces of bruises on her legs and arms that day in the forest but he never thought it had been bad. _You're an idiot. Maybe she just fell. But what if someone did that to her. Oh who cares it isn't your responsibility. Why do you even care? She's a big girl she can handle herself. _But even with these thoughts running through his head, Jace couldn't shake the feeling of worry he felt towards her. He knew Clary was hiding something, he could tell. After all, Jace was the one keeping the biggest secret of them all.


	6. No One Knows

**Disclaimer, I don't own these characters. **

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**Jace**

_Should I ask him about Clary? _Jace was sitting across from Simon at Simon's house. They decided to meet this thursday because it was the only day of the week Jace didn't have football practice or piano lessons. Jace asked Simon, "So, now what?" knowing he should just forget about that girl with beautiful green eyes. He's gotten used to thinking about her a lot lately so Jace considering her eyes "beautifully green" didn't really shock him as much as it used to. Simon just stared at him, _probably deciding if it's worth the time. Why does he even go to Magnus in the first place? He seems fine to me. _But Jace realized you can't judge someone's emotional climate on their appearance, after all, he looked fine to everyone too. Only him, Magnus, and Alec knew that inside he was a raging mess.

"Well, I guess we can start with getting to know each other. The big things I guess. I don't know. I feel really stupid about Tuesday. Sorry, man." Jace's eyebrows rose in response to what Simon said. He put on his trademark smirk and said, "Well, I thought it was hilarious. Watching you fall flat on your ass and seeing that ridiculous look on your face after you fell." Jace saw Simon's eyes harden with anger. "Look, Jace, I don't really know what your deal is or why you go to Magnus and, honestly, I don't really care. But I need him so I'd appreciate if you could just wipe that cocky smirk on your face and get to know me so I can leave and get back to Clary."

Jace stared at Simon, seeing that hidden pain in his eyes Jace realized there really was something wrong with him. "Okay so why do you see him then?" Jace tried really hard to get rid of anything in his voice other then curiosity but apparently some of his sarcasm leaked in because Simon's eyes narrowed a little bit. Simon just stared at Jace deciding if it was worth it to tell him. After a while he said, "Maybe we can go less personal than that, man. I mean we are only doing this for Magnus and I don't trust you yet." Jace got angry, "That's what we are supposed to be doing! Learning to trust each other!"

Simon sighed and looked at the napkin he was tearing up. _What secret is this guy holding back? Can it really be that bad. Well, I guess it can considering my secret is pretty damn horrible. _Jace waited, deciding to give Simon time to think while his mind raced, trying to figure out what could be so bad. Ten minutes later Simon suddenly looked up and met Jace's eyes. He asked, "Can I even trust you?" Jace's eyes widened. **_Can_**_ he trust me? I mean if it's bad would I tell? ...Of course not. Because you wouldn't want your secret leaking so obviously you should keep his... even if he's weird. And he's Clary's friend and she's cute and kind of.. No don't go there, stick to Simon. _

Shaking his head, clearing his thoughts, Jace realized a few minutes have passed while he was arguing in his head. He noticed Simon getting tenser and tenser until Jace finally said without a waver in voice, "Yes. You can trust me. I know I'll eventually have to tell you things I've kept secret and I wouldn't want you to tell them to everyone. And we both know if that ever happened I'd happily kick your ass."

He heard Simon take in a deep breathe and look him square in the eyes while said, "When I was six my cousin, Daniel, decided to beat up my big sister, Maia. One day I saw him hitting her and I couldn't do anything, I froze. Then I ran to my mom and told her what happened. Do you know what she said? She just said 'That's nice now go play, Simon dear.' She thought I was joking around and I was angry. I mean I just saw my big sister get beat up. So I ran back to where Maia was and I found her alone; Daniel left, apparently bored with her. Maia was crying...so I just went over and hugged her gently. I didn't know what to do and she just said to leave it alone so I did." Simon was breathing hard and Jace didn't know what to do. He just stared at Simon, his eyes wide and his mouth open.

"I was six, I just forgot about it. Well not really, I just pushed it away. I never saw him treat Maia badly ever again, even though I saw a look of fear in her eyes whenever he was around. I just ignored it thought, I mean she said it was okay and she was my sister; I took her word for it. Until I came back from school one day when I was 14 and heard her screaming. I remember it like it was yesterday. I ran to the back yard and saw what Daniel was doing to her. He was burning her. H-He would hold up his lighter to her skin and hold it there.. waiting for her skin to start bubbling, and then he would pull it away, just to do it to a different part of her body.

I was frozen again; I didn't know what to do. I just watched as he slowly lifted the lighter to her face, I stared in horror as he brought it to her eye.. Her screams... Oh god..." Simon put his face in his hands and his body jerked at the sobs he wasn't letting out. Jace just stared, not knowing what to do. He waited for Simon to gain control. He watched Simon, thinking about how horrible it must be to watch your sister going through that sort of pain. _His secret is worse than mine. No. It isn't even a contest to see who's fucked up more. This is Simon and he's a person and he's reliving something horrible. And oh god I would help if I could but I can't because I've never been in this situation before.. _

Jace's mind stopped whirling as he heard Simon gain control of his emotions. Jace watched as Simon ran his hand down his face, he continued, "I ran over.. and stopped him. But he had gone too far and he knew it. He just smirked at me and ran away while I fell down and cradled my sister into my arms. She was knocked out by the pain I guess. I don't really know what happened next. It all happened so fast. I guess the neighbors heard her screams and called the police. They caught Daniel, and took Maia to the hospital because he stabbed and she was losing so much blood along with the burns. But it wasn't enough. She died..."

Simon's voice trailed off, his eyes dark with pain and anger. Jace just looked at him, feeling helpless until Simon spoke again and all Jace felt was anger. "That's why I fought you. It wasn't because you made me fall on my ass or the fact that you were laughing about it. No. It was because the look in your eyes, the way you smirked, even your overbearing cockiness reminded me of Daniel. And I hated you. And then I saw the way you started looking at Clary and realized that it's all just a mask isn't it? I knew because every time she smiled, even if wasn't at you, the walls in you would break and I could see that pain you try to hold so well. That's why I agreed to for you to come over. It wasn't Magnus. It was because Clary is my best friend and I very may possibly be in love with her. I can't let you ruin her like Daniel ruined Maia. You may not hurt her like her hurt Maia. But you'd break her heart. And I can't let that happen. She has a fucked up life as it is and she doesn't need you to fuck it up worse. I know your some amazing jock or whatever and I'm just a pothead and but I won't hesitate to use what ever I coudl to kick your ass if you touch her, Jace."

With that Simon got up, "You can leave now." Jace got up to his body shaking with anger and he left. He knew he couldn't control himself when he was angry. _I would never hurt Clary. She's so little and looks so fragile. But he's right. I would break her heart because who would love someone like him who has done what he's done. I'm so tired of keeping it in. I wish I could just let it all out like Simon let it all out earlier. I just want to tell someone; hell, I'd even tell Magnus. Or Alec. Or both. Maybe I should invite Alec to a session like he's been begging for. Then he could let it out and whatever happens, happens. Yeah. I'll do that. _Jace finally got home and he went straight for his room, whatever rational thoughts he was thinking while walking here flew out the window as he stared at the box. His calm emotions soon twisted and turned until they were a black cloud in his mind, quickly forming into a storm.

Jace tried to fight it but he couldn't. Feeling lost and scared and overwhelmed, he opened the box slowly and pulled out his favorite razor. It gleamed in the light of his room and his breathe hitched. **_Do it. _**Jace's breathing got faster and his heart raced fast and hard in his chest as the voice came back. **_Do it, Jace. You know you need to. Someone, something, doesn't deserve that blood pumping in your heart. It's just a waste of something so valuable on a monster like you. _**_No! That's not true. I'm not a monster. I'm not. I had to do it. Doesn't anyone understand? I had to... _

Jace felt tears slide down his cheeks but he didn't care, the voice was back and it took all his strength not to give in. **_You're a monster. You don't deserve it. You never have. Do it. She'll never love someone like you. That boy was right. You're. Just. Like. Daniel. _**With that last sentence, Jace felt his resolve falter. His hand shook as he gripped the razor and lifted up his left arm. The voice was still in his head and he just wanted everything to stop. **_Do it, Jace. You're just like him. A Monster. _**Jace cried silently as the razor cut into his arm, going from one side of his wrist to the other, matching the ones he made from last time. Jace watch as the blood dripped off his wrist and fell to the floor. He cut one more and then went to his bed. He was feeling so tired now that the blood was falling and the voice was finally gone. Jace fell asleep with his blood soaking into the sheets and tears drying on his cheeks.


	7. Restless Heart Syndrome

**Okay so first off this may be a little embarrassing but I was wondering if anyone could please message me about all these acronyms and abbreviations used on this website. I'm knew here and I don't exactly know what it all means. I'd be very happy if anyone could help with my little..predicament :P**

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**Clary **

Clary breathed in the fresh morning air. _In. Out. In. Out. _She tried to focus on her breathing or even the chirping of the birds in the trees but it was no use, her mind wondered back to last night.

_**Simon finally came back up to his room after spending and hour or so with Jace. Clary was just lounging around on his bed when she felt him slide in next to her and cuddle up to her side. She knew something was wrong, he only ever cuddled her when he was feeling sad. Clary turned and ran her fingers through his long messy brown hair. "Si, what is it?" **_

_**Simon nuzzled into her shoulder and muttered, "Maia..." Clary sighed and held him closer, she knew any mention of Simon's late sister would make him upset for days and she could never get him out of his funk. "I'm sorry, Si. Is there anything I can do?" Clary always asked this when he was feeling down, so she wasn't expecting an answer, but he surprised her by saying, "Distract me, Clary?" Clary looked down and her face softened. This was her Si, her knight, a total and complete dork and pothead, but hers. She gently lifted his face to look into his eyes then leaned in and brushed her lips against hers. It started out as a soft kiss but quickly turned into one of passion. **_

_**Surprising her, Simon pressed into her harder and his hand found her hip and he squeezed it. Clary let out a soft moan that surprised her. She felt Simons tongue rake across her lips and she opened her mouth, allowing him access to her tongue. They swirled around each other, exploring the new territory, then Clary bit Simon's lip softly and pulled. She heard and felt Simon's growl and his hands slid up her stomach to cup her boob. **_

Clary shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. _Oh, that was wonderful. I never knew sex would feel like that... It was... incredible. _She was glad it was Simon who had sex with her. Over the years he always told her that what those men did to her in the alley didn't count; she'd be a virgin until she willingly gave her body to another. Making love to Simon made Clary's heart feel free and that's why she decided to go for a run. Clary ran along the concrete path and she realized she couldn't help herself so she stopped trying and continued to think about Simon.

_**She groaned as Simon squeezed her boob and opened her eyes to see Simon's smirk. "I love that sound, Clary." Clary blushed and looked into his eyes, "Si.." Clary stared at him trying to make him understand she was ready; she wanted this. She saw his eyes widen and then he looked nervous. "Are you sure, love? When I meant 'distract me' this isn't what I had in mind. We don't have to." Clary frowned, "I want to, Si."**_

_**With that Simon sat up on his knees, bringing her with him. "Clary, are you positive?" His hands found his way to her cheeks and he was running his thumb over her soft skin, needless to say it was slightly distracting. "Um... Huh?" She heard him chuckle and opened her eyes when she realized she closed them. "Oh jeez you're adorable. You looked just like a cat when it gets petted. Hell, I think you even purred!" Clary blushed at Simon and looked down. It wasn't her fault she liked the way his hands felt. **_

Clary was snatched out of her daydreams by the sight of Jace sitting on a rock just outside the path she was running. She slowed down and tried to catch her breathe, "Hey, Jace." His head snapped up and he looked at her surprised. "We meet again, little red." Clary smiled at the nickname because it reminded her of Simon, "What are you doing back out here? No offense but you don't look like the nature type." Jace smirked and just shook his head, "Just thinking. I need to get away from.. everything."

Clary looked at him and saw that he looked a little sad, "Jace, what's wrong?" She went over and stood in front of him. "You can trust me." She saw him look at her with lost eyes and she couldn't be sure but she thought she saw some look but it went away before she could identify what it was. "I'm fine, Clary." She knew he was lying and she wanted to ask him about it but they've only just started talking to each other after two years of going to the same school; she didn't know if he considered her a friend or not and she wasn't about to make the first step into friendship for him to just call her a freak like everyone else.

Clary felt a hand on her stomach and she looked at Jace, "Umm... what.." But she stopped when she realized he was tracing the skin that was black and blue from the punch her dad gave her. "What happened, Red?" Jace was looking at her with concern and worry in his eyes, all this time she thought he was just an airheaded jock and here his is, worrying about the girl everyone called the freak. Clary winced as he pressed his fingers a little too roughly into her stomach and she stepped back. "I-I fell." Jace grabbed her arms and pulled her back to him and then he quickly lifted up her shirt. "Jace!" Clary was embarrassed and she felt exposed but his fingers lightly rubbed her skin and she felt shivers going up her spine. _No. No think about Simon. Don't let his touch effect you like this. _

"This doesn't look like it happened from falling." Clary was trying to come up to an excuse when she felt Jace's lips touch her stomach. She gasped and blushed, "Jace, stop." He stopped and looked up at her then down at her stomach and frowned. "Is that-" But Clary stopped him when she ran her fingers along his wrist. _He cuts? _She didn't know what to do. First he's kissing her stomach and on the verge of figuring out her dad beats her and then he's completely frozen and lost she found his secret like he almost found out hers.

Clary lifted his arm and kissed his wrist softly, much like the way he kissed her stomach. She knew now it was sexual, not like Simon. No. It was more like the need for something so ugly to be blessed with something as beautiful as kiss, even it's a kiss shared between almost strangers. She saw his eyes widen with shock and heard his breathe hitch and then become faster. She could fell his heart pumping quickly in his wrist and she let go. "Don't worry, Jace. I won't tell if you won't." With that she ran off towards Simon's house, trying to forget the rush she felt from Jace's kiss and the smell of his cologne as she kissed him. _Maybe everyone in this world is a little fucked up. Maybe we all just need someone to give beautiful kisses to our ugly past. _

**Jace**

Jace just stared after her, he could still feel the warmth of her lips pressed against his cuts and the smell of her hair. He could feel the softness of her stomach as he kissed and rubbed that horrible bruise he was sure was made from a punch; nothing like a fall could produce something like that.

Jace sat there on the rock thinking about what just happened between him and Clary. It was weird but it wasn't at the same time; it felt right. He was being sweet to her and wanted to protect her from whoever gave her that bruise. When she kissed his wrist he wanted to be protected; he wanted to lay his head in her lap and have her run her hands through his hair. _Oh, man. I'm developing serious feelings for this girl. I'm in trouble. _


	8. Misery

**Hello, beautiful internet people. (I don't know if anyone ever reads this but whatever.)**

**Sorry for not posting for a few days. Things have been crazy with finals coming up. But here's a chapter to make bearable y'alls insatiable hunger. We finally get to figure out Jace's secret so don't hate me or hate Jace as a character. **

**Hope y'all enjoy. Comments are welcome, positive or negative. Although I do ask that they are kindly written. **

**I don't own these characters. **

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**Simon**

Simon smirked as he poked the small bruise on his neck. Simon never knew his neck was a weak spot, but apparently it was and Clary wouldn't stop leaving him hickeys. It has been a few days since that first night but now they were constantly touching and kissing and at night, when it was just them, they'd make love. No matter how many times they've done it, it still felt like the first time.

Simon sighed happily and left the school bathroom and went to lunch. He sat down at their usual table with Jordan and Ragnor. Seeing Clary in the queue at her favorite restaurant station, Chick-Fil-A, Simon waved to her and motioned for her to look at her phone. **_Go get me some food, woman. _**He saw her scowl and then she stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed then turned his attention back to Jordan and Ragnor.

"Hey, guys what's up? Anything new?" Jordan said, "Nah man. Just the same thing. Went to the cabin and smoked then met this chick. Man, she was hot! Oh fuck! She goes to fucking school here?" Simon turned toward the place where Jordan was looked and raised his eyebrows. "Umm, dude, that's Isabelle Lightwood. Please tell me you didn't hook up with her." Simon's voice went from confused to incredulous when he realized Jordan didn't recognize her. "Dude, she's been going to school with us since freshman year," said Ragnor. Jordan just stared at her then looked to his two friends, "Oh, no man I'm okay. I didn't sleep with her. But yea, I seriously had no clue who she was. But I was pretty high so that could be why." He grinned at them sheepishly then smiled at Clary as she sat down.

"What's up, buttercup," said Jordan as he ruffled up Clary's hair. She giggled then handed Simon his lunch. Simon smiled at her and began eating, he didn't realize he was so hungry. "So, why were y'all staring at Izzy?" Simon and Ragnor pointed to Jordan who blushed and shook he head. She laughed and Simon's eyes softened. _God, I love her laugh. She does it more and more now. Is it because of me or is it because she hasn't been home in a week or two? _Clary blushed and Simon's heart clinched when he realized what made her. _It's that fucking Jace. What the fuck? _

Simon saw them exchange glances then a wave and both of them blushed and he just felt absolutely obsolete. _Maybe Jace is what is making her smile so much. _Simon sighed and looked down at his yummy chicken sandwich with disdain; he suddenly lost his appetite even though he only ate a few bites. He handed the sandwich to Jordan and the fries to Ragnor then sipped his tea quietly. "Si, you okay?" Simon nodded but kept staring at the cup in his hands. He couldn't help but think that the person who came up with the logo was very talented but not as talented as his Clary. _Maybe I shouldn't be thinking about her as mine yet. What if it doesn't mean as much to her as it does to me. _

Simon sighed heavily and looked at Ragnor then nodded to the door. He got up and went outside, hearing Ragnor follow him. He let out a shaky breathe as he leaned against the brick wall, "Rags, what am I going to do? I'm head-over-fucking-heels for this chick and she goes there and blushes at Jace like they are the one's having sex not us." "Oh! So that's what this is about. Honestly, man, I don't know what to tell you. Ask her about it?" Simon sighed and he knew Ragnor was right. He should just ask her but he couldn't handle her telling him that she wanted Jace more; it would break him.

"I don't want to get hurt," Simon whispered. Ragnor just shook his head, "That's the price of love, man." He put his arm on Simon's shoulders and brought him in for a hug. "Don't let her get you down though. I know it hurts and it sucks but don't let her steal what makes you Simon." Simon leaned into his friend then wiped his eyes, Ragnor always knew what to say to make him feel better. "Dude, if I was gay I'd definitely jump your bones right now." Ragnor just blushed and looked down then walked back into the cafeteria.

The day passed drearily slow and Simon couldn't stop thinking about Clary and the way her eyes lit up at the sight of Jace. Thinking back, Simon knew he should've took that as a sign but, back then, he was too in love. Simon got into his Fiat and drove toward the cabin. He told Clary she would have to find her own way home today, he just wanted some alone time.

The cabin was exactly as it sounds. It wasn't special on the outside but on the inside it was beautiful. It was an old cabin out in the woods behind Clary's house. The walls were close to falling down and there were various rodents and small animals and insects everywhere but it made up for it in beauty. The most notable thing was that there was a tree growing in the middle of the living room. The roots have broken up the floorboards and where ever there was dirt, then there were flowers. It was gorgeous. And Simon always came here to think. He ignored the beer bottles and the joints littering the ground and sat on the table Ragnor brought up here.

_What should I do? Should I tell her how I feel or should I let her do her own thing. It isn't like we actually discussed anything. We never declared our relationship. But, then again, isn't it kind of obvious what I wanted? I didn't want her for sex. She should know that. She should know I have real feelings for her. Love-type feelings. I'm in love with her for fuck's sake. It should be fucking obvious!_

Simon sighed and wiped his eyes again for the third time that day. He hated crying. He decided to heed Ragnor's advice and not let Clary or Jace ruin what made him Simon. He was a laid back guy who loved to smile and joke with his friends. Just because he fell in love with a certain red head and got hurt doesn't mean he should let her steal away his smile. He wasn't going to let that happen. Simon went to their hiding place and got a joint. He lit it and inhaled deeply. Exhaling after a minute, Simon felt immensely better. He was still in love with her, crazily and hopelessly in love. But he wouldn't let her ruin him.

**Jace**

Jace sighed as the last bell of the day rang out. _Tuesday. Again. How come when I close my eyes it's Wednesday then when I open them it is Tuesday again. Where does the week go? _Jace grabbed his bag from his locked then went to Alec's. "Hey, Alec. I have a question for you." Alec turned around and eyed him suspiciously, "Go on then. What is it?" Jace bit his lip then let his words tumble out of his mouth, "Will you go with me to see Magnus. I need to tell you something but I want Magnus to be there, too." Jace never would admit it to him, but he needed Magnus. He was starting to really like that he had to go. _Took me about a year but I think I'm finally benefiting from this whole therapy shit. _

Jace saw Alec's face go from suspicious to happy. "Of course I'll go with you, Jace!" Jace smiled and put his arm on Alec's shoulders leading him to his car. "Thank you, Alec." Alec just grinned and got in, "I knew you'd ask me when you were ready." Jace just smirked and said, "Sure, Alec. That's while you were being an annoying little bitch. Asking me every single Tuesday if you could come with me. Well, I beat you to the punch today."

When they got into the parking lot, Jace's heart started hammering in his chest and his hands got clammy. _Oh fuck I'm going to be sick. _"Hey, you okay?" Jace reassured Alec then got out the car and walked, more like marched, determinately towards the door. **_You can't back out now. Don't want to look like a bitch in front of Fag 1 and Fag 2 do you? _**Jace shivered as the voice came back. _No, I'm doing this for me. I need this. _Jace sat in the waiting room, they were a little early, his legs were bouncing and he was chewing on his nails. **_Nervous, little fucker? No reason to be. You can always kill yourself if things go south. _**Jace winced and he saw Alec look at him sympathetically. He never told Alec about the voice but he always got the feeling he knew.

After 15 minutes, Jace was never more relieved to see Magnus. Today he was wearing lime green pants with a electric blue shirt that had a picture of a cat on it, Jace guessed it was the infamous Chairman Meow. Magnus looked at Alec his eyes widening a bit and he saw Alec blush. Jace just smirked at them then walked to Magnus's office. After a minute or so they followed and sat down in the chairs, Magnus sat behind the colorful and cluttered desk and Alec sat in one next to Jace.

**_Are you ready? They'll hate you you know. Everyone will when they find out. Believe me they'll find out. Then you'll just be stuck with me and your guilt for company. Actually I like that idea. Tell them. Now. _**Jace's face drained of color as he got more nervous. "I-I...I have been hiding things from both of y'all. Magnus and Alec, I'm sorry. But I never really needed to. But after talking with Simon, I realized that I need other people to know. I can't keep this in anymore."

**_That's right. Just four little words. You can do it, Jace. _**_I'll do it! Stop cheering me on! Okay come on. Do it. You need to. "_What is it Jace?" asked Magnus. Alec looked at Jace and frowned, "Tell us. It's okay. Whatever it is, I'll still be here." Jace looked at Alec, "No. Don't make promises you can't keep."

Alec and Magnus stayed quiet while Jace tried to work up the nerve to tell them his secret. _Just do it. Listen to Alec. He'll stay no matter what. No. He can't keep that promise. Not when he doesn't know the ramifications of his words. He doesn't know what I've done. Do it. You need to. Think of Simon. Think of how free he looked when he told you his secret. Do it. _"I..." _Do it. Come on. Don't be a bitch. Just do it! _**_Jace Way-_**"I have a son!"


	9. Crushcrushcrush

**Hello Hello**

**Okay so this chapter is really short but there is another on its way to be patient, lovelies. **

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**Alec **

Alec was so excited that he practically ran to Jace's car, he would've but Jace's arms were around his shoulders and he couldn't make himself pull out of the embrace. Jace just asked him to go to a session and he couldn't get any happier. Jace was fine until they got into the parking lot, he was singing along to the songs and smiling. But, they arrived at Magnus' office and he starting fidgeting and wouldn't keep still.

_What is his problem? Is he always like this right before a meeting. Am I responsible? If he doesn't stop moving I'll smack him across the head. _"Jace, sit still. Stop fidgeting." Jace didn't even look at him, nor did he stop. Alec just sighed and got more comfortable in his chair. Alec couldn't stop thinking about what Jace had to tell him. _Could it be that bad? _

After 15 minutes Alec had enough and was going to force Jace to sit still when the man walked into the room. He was wearing green skinny jeans and a blue shirt with a cat on it. He assumed it was Magnus from Jace's occasional mention of the therapist's eccentric fashion choice. He was tall and skinny but Alec could tell he had muscle. And his hair was spiked with glitter everywhere. Alec just stared at him. He met Magnus' gaze and swallowed hard. _Oh. My. God. He's beautiful... _ _No! Jace is here. Behave. _

Alec snapped his gaze away from Magnus and realized Jace already left the room. He blushed and looked down. "Hi, I'm ummm, I'm Alec." He looked up at Magnus and smiled. "Well, hello, Alexander. I'm Magnus, Jace's therapist." Alec was going to correct him, he hated his full name, but it just sounded so right coming for this man's mouth and it made Alec warm all over so he decided to just go with it.

He followed Magnus back to his office and sat in the chair next to Jace. He tried not to blatantly stare at Magnus and turned to look at Jace. _He still looks so nervous. _Suddenly Jace's face drained of color and Alec knew he was having a conversation in his head with the voice. Alec figured out a long time ago that sometime Jace heard a cruel voice in his head but he never confronted him about it. He just wanted his best friend to trust him enough to let him in and finally he was.

"I-I...I have been hiding things from both of y'all. Magnus and Alec, I'm sorry. But I never really needed to. But after talking with Simon, I realized that I need other people to know. I can't keep this in anymore." Alec's eyebrows rose in response to Jace's words. He didn't knew him and Simon have been talking. _What's been going on? He has been talking to Simon instead of me? _

Alec heard Magnus' gorgeous voice ask, "What is it, Jace?" Alec turned his gaze from Magnus and looked at Jace, frowning he said, "Tell us. It's okay. Whatever it is, I'll still be here." _Jace should know this by now. I am not going to leave him. _But apparently Jace didn't believe him. Alec sighed and waited patiently for Jace to decide if he was going to tell them or not.

"I have a son." Alec stared at Jace, the surprise written all over his face. _NO! This can't be true. He has to be joking. He can't have a kid! _Alec looked over at Magnus and saw his shocked look and then he saw Jace's shoulders relax and a sense of peace came over his face. "I have a son... His name is Gavin." Alec breathed in a shaky breath as Jace let out a relieved sigh. "What do you mean you have a son? When did this happen? How did this happen? How did I not know!?" Alec was quickly losing his surprise and gained a betrayed feeling in his gut that he decidedly did not like. "How could you keep this from me?"

Alec closed his eyes and tried to compose his emotions. _I don't do feelings well... I can't let him see me hurt then he'll just feel like he was right and I can't keep that promise. But I will. I'll show him he isn't alone. _Apparently Magnus felt the same was because the shock was on his face and a calm look replaced it. "Do you see him often, Jace?" Jace looked down at the ground. "I don't actively go to their house, I promised the mother I wouldn't. But Mattie goes to the park a few blocks away from his house on Thursdays and I sometimes go there to see him. He doesn't see me though."

"You stalk your son," Magnus said. Alec saw Jace's head snap up, there was embarrassment in his eyes, "No! I don't stalk him. I just like seeing him. I wish I could talk to him. But I can't." "Okay," Magnus said, "Why don't you tell us the whole story then?"

**Jace**

Jace sigh and closed his eyes. _It's okay. Just relive it just this once then you won't have to. _He steeled himself and began with the story he's been trying to forget for three years. "Okay, it all started three years ago.."


	10. Misery Business

**Dear creepy internet people and/or shady robots, I'm terribly sorry for keeping y'all in suspense but don't y'all think it's better that way? **

**Hope y'all don't hate me and I hope this is sufficiently long to make up for my tiny chapter 9. Here you go!**

**p.s. I own nothing.**

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**Jace**

Jace sigh and closed his eyes. _It's okay. Just relive it just this once then you won't have to. _He steeled himself and began with the story he's been trying to forget for three years. "Okay, it all started three years ago.."

Jace had just gotten done with football practice when he got home to his parents shouting at each other. "What the hell are y'all screaming about?!" They turned towards him quickly and instantly their voices dropped to a normal level. His mom said, "Sweetheart, why don't you go stay with Alec tonight. Your father and I need to talk." "Oh, okay," Jace's voice dripped with sarcasm, "Why don't you just talk then. I mean it's not like I wouldn't be able to hear from Alec's house anyways since you two are screaming bloody murder at each other." Jace ran to his room and gathered up his stuff.

He hated when they fought. It was always about his dad talking to this lady named Amatis. Jace didn't know who she was but he prayed to who ever was listening the his other didn't find her. Apparently his dad dated her a long time ago, but his parents made him break up with her and marry his mom. _I don't know. It is all just a fucking mess. I can't wait to graduate and get my own place. I swear I will never scream at my wife like my parents always seem to do. That's all they do. Scream. Scream. Scream. Holy hell, JUST BREAK THE FUCK UP IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY. _

While he was screaming at his parents inside his head, Jace packed his things and went out the back door. He walked over to Alec and Izzy's house and climbed into Alec's window. Alec was sleeping in his bed so Jace did what any teenager would do and jumped onto Alec and started yelling at him to get up. To Jace's amusement, Alec let out a shrill scream and started hitting him. "Whoa, dude, it's just me. Calm down." At Jace's voice, Alec calmed down and started glaring at Jace. "What the fuck. What are you doing in here. How did you get in here. Why?"

All Jace had to say was, "My parents," and Alec instantly knew what he meant. Alec was the only person he told that his parents argued constantly. Alec scooted over and gave Jace room to lay down. He sighed and dropped his bag next to the bed and climbed in. "Sorry, but I couldn't stand it anymore." Alec replied, "It's okay, Jace. You're welcome anytime. And we can go to Pandemonium later after we rest." Jace glanced at the clock, it was only 7. He could take a nap and then they could go to Pandemonium at 10. "Okay sounds good." He heard Alec's breathing slow down and soften, Jace fell asleep not long after.

"Come on, Izzy. Hurry up!" Jace and Alec were waiting by the front door for Iz to get ready. _Did it really take girls that long to get ready. What do they need to do, it's not like it's that hard to put on some clothes and brush your hair. _Jace was about to go grab her from her room when she skipped down the stairs. She was wearing all black. Black, shirt, black skinny jeans, black combat boots, but her hair had a bright streak of blue and she had a blue belt on and a bunch of blue bracelets. "About damn time," said Alec. He quickly went out the front door to his car and Jace and Izzy followed.

They finally got to the block where the club was on, "Alec, why the hell did have to park so far away," asked Izzy. Jace had to admit, he was a little annoyed with have to walk five blocks away just so Alec could park in a parking garage. "I don't want my car getting messed up and neither do you because if not you'd have to walk to school and your hair would be ruined by the time you got there." Jace had to laugh at the look on izzy face, she was about to say something but they were standing in line waiting and she wasn't a very patient person.

"Come on. I'll get us in." She marched up to the bouncer and said, "Hey, can you do me a little favor and let me and my friends in?" She batted her eyes and bit her lip. They bouncer raked his eyes over her body before they rested on her lips, "Umm, yea sure go ahead." Izzy smiled and gave him a kiss on his cheek then dragged in the shocked Jace and Alec. "I can't believe you just did that," said Alec. "Yea, but it worked didn't it. I'll see you later." With that, Izzy went onto the dance floor and was instantly swarmed by guys. "I can't believe I'm related to her." Jace just laughed and steered Alec to the bar.

That's when Jace saw her. _Holy fuck. She's beautiful. _The girl was wearing a hunter green button up shirt and ripped jeans. Those clothes made her stand out but she apparently didn't care. She had waist length black hair and her eyes were a bright green/gold, and right now they were staring straight at Jace. Realizing he got caught staring, he smirked at here and winked. She blushed and started walking towards him. _She's coming over. What should I do? Act cool. Be normal. _Breathing in a deep breath to calm himself, Jace watched her slowly make her way towards him. "Hi, I'm Ariella." He slowly dragged his gaze from her soft pink lips and looking into her eyes, "Hello, I'm Jace." He smiled his "panty-dropping" - as Izzy likes to put it- smile at her and saw her blush. _Works every time. _"Do you want to dance?" She nodded eagerly and he took her hand and led her to the dancer floor after he waved goodbye to Alec.

They danced for a long time before she gasped out that she needed a drink. He smiled and lead her back to the bar and got her a water. "Do you want to go somewhere quieter? Maybe get some food?" Jace smiled and said yes. She lead him down the street to a little diner called Taki's. "Is this place good?" he asked. She looked at him her mouth dropping, "What! You've never been to Taki's. Come on. You're about to have the best pancakes in the world." She grabbed his arm and led him into the diner and over to a booth.

"Hello, may I help you?" The waitress was staring right at Jace and he smirked. _I can't help that I look good but I really wish people would stop blatantly staring. _"Ummm.." he looked at Ariella to see what she was getting. Thankfully she saved him by saying, "We will have the coconut pancakes." The waitress completely ignored her and was still looking at Jace. "Um I'm pretty sure she just said we want coconut pancakes thank you." She finally tore her eyes away from Jace and looked at Ariella with faint disgust. "Anything else?" she asked in a sickeningly sweet and fake voice. "Just some coffee. Thank you."

As the waitress left, Ariella started asking Jace random questions; even when the food got there- amazing food at that- she still kept firing off questions. He answered them all until she asked a particular one, "What's that on your arm?" Jace froze and looked down. "Umm.. I.. Uh" Jace completely blanked on what to say, he had no excuse ready. "Wait," she put her arm on his forearm directly on top of the bruise, "why is it shaped like a hand? Jace what happened." He frowned, he didn't really expect to her guess but he knew only by talking to her for an hour that she was smart and observant.

Jace didn't say anything, after all his father didn't do it often. Only when Jace said certain things, and that night Jace was exhausted, he couldn't really stop saying anything or control his mouth. "Jace, you can tell me." She got up and went to sit by him. He looked at her and slowly put his hand on her cheek, rubbing his thumb over he soft skin. She closed her eyes and he took the liberty to give her a soft kiss.

He didn't really feel anything, he wasn't really expecting to because he never did feel anything, but pressed closer to her; he need to get her mind off of his bruise. Slowly he worked his way into her mouth and played with her tongue. She gave a small moan into his mouth and pressed closer to him, almost sitting on his lap. They broke apart when the waitress coughed and handed him the check. He paid and took Ariella's hand saying, "Let's get out of here."

She drove them to her apartment and parked. He got out and followed her into it. She didn't wast any time and practically dragged him to her room. She pushed him on the bed and took of her shirt. _Damn she has a nice body. _He slowly slid his eyes down her body while he took off his shirt and pants. She took off her pants to and climbed on top of him, sitting on his waist. Ariella bent down and kissed his neck, she started sucking and Jace blocked everything out of his mind and concentrated on her. He didn't plan on having sex with her but he just wanted to forget everything she made him remember. He knew he was using her but Jace didn't really care at the moment.

That morning he got up and snuck out of her house after leaving a note with his number on it. He wasn't planning on leaving his number but Jace really wanted to keep in touch with her. She seemed like a nice girl and he wouldn't mind being friends with her. He got into the taxi he called and within 15 minutes he was back in Alec's room, he still didn't really want to go home. He got into Alec's bed after pushing him over and fell asleep.

It's been a month since that night with Ariella and Jace's life was actually okay and getting better. His mom was getting nicer, his dad hadn't hit him as much, and his grades in all his classes were improving. He hadn't talked to Ariella after those first couple of days after sleeping with her and he was starting to be okay with that. He'd just gotten done with football practice and was eating some frozen yogurt with Alec when his phone went off. **We need to talk. **

Jace stared at the text from Ariella and frowned. _She hasn't talked to me or seen me in about a month and now she wants to talk? _**What do we need to talk about? **He waited a few minutes before sending that message but he got an instant reply back. **Please. Just come meet me at Taki's. You remember the place right? I'll be waiting. **

Jace sighed and decided he should at least listen to what she had to say. "Hey, Alec, I have to go. I'm meeting someone. I'll come back to your house after I'm done okay?" Alec said okay and Jace left and started walking to the little diner. _What can she need to talk about that she can't just text or call me for?_

Jace finally got the diner and found the booth Ariella was in. He sat down across from her and looked at her. He hair was pulled into a pony tell and she was wearing a red shirt and black pants but there were bags under her eyes and she looked exhausted. "Hey, are you okay?" She just laughed and shook her head. He frowned and waited for her to say more but when she didn't he asked, "What's wrong?"

She sighed heavily and put her head in her hands, "Oh, Jace, what isn't wrong?" Jace frowned and waited again. _Damn it's like pulling teeth with her. Why can't she just spit it out. _"Just spit it out, Ariella. Stop beating around the bush." She looked up and glared at him. "It's all your fault." Jace's eyes widened and he stared at her, "My fault? What the hell did I do?"

Ariella was breathing hard and glaring at Jace and yelled, "You fucking got me pregnant!" Jace stared at her, the words not really sinking in, "What?" She spoke slowly this time so he could catch every word, "You. Got. Me. Pregnant." _NO! No. She's lying. She has to be. I can't be a dad. I'd be horrible. You take after your parents. I'd be a child abuser just like my dad. Or I wouldn't love it like my mom doesn't love me. No! She's pregnant. Oh my fucking hell..._

Jace's mind was racing with these thoughts as he and Ariella stared at each other. "No. I can't be a father. No!" She just laughed cruelly, "Well to fucking bad because you're going to be one. Congratulations." At that, Jace promptly ran out of the diner.


	11. The Sharpest Lives

**I don't know if y'all would like this chapter, I'm not really sure if I do, but here you go. Enjoy!**

**I don't own anything. **

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**Jace**

"So yea... I ran out of the diner. A few days later she texted me saying she never wanted to see me again. She said she was thinking about getting an abortion but she changed her mind. She kept him. When she gave birth, she texted me saying she didn't want me in Gavin's life. And so I stayed out. I knew I would only bring them down, but I couldn't keep from seeing him. I walked by that park one day, I have no idea why I was on that side of town, but I saw Ariella and the baby boy she was playing with and I couldn't help but keep going there once I figured out that it was a regular thing. That was about a year ago."

Jace took a deep breath and let out a sigh. He's been talking for a little over an hour and his mouth is dry and his cheeks are wet from stray tears. He wiped them off and looked at his hands clenched in his lap. Alec and Magnus haven't said anything while he was talking and it was making Jace uncomfortable. Not daring to look up he said, "So yea... that's it."

He heard Alec take in a shaky breath and say, "I think you should talk to Ariella. You'd be an amazing father. I know you would. And Gavin deserves to have his father in his life. You'd be nothing like your parents, Jace. I wouldn't let you be." Jace looked up and stared, shocked, at Alec. "You wouldn't let me be?" he whispered. He saw Alec scoff and say, "You don't really think I'd let you do this alone would you?"

Jace smiled a big smile and went to hug Alec, "If I go talk to her would you come with me? ... and Magnus? Would you, too?" Jace looked over while he said the last part and saw Magnus smile. "Of course I'll go, Jace. If that is what you desire then so be it." Jace kept smiling, he felt a big weight being slowly lifted off his shoulders. He finally realized he wasn't alone. _If Alec believes I won't be like my parents then I guess I won't. He's never wrong about these things. I'll get Ariella to let me see Gavin if it's the last thing I do. I want him to know me and look up to me. I want to show people that I am a good person not some narcissistic asshole. I want him to love me and call me daddy... I want to take care of him._

**Clary**

It's been days since Clary has last seen Simon outside of school and she was getting worried. _Where is he staying? Why isn't he staying here? Did I do something wrong? Where is my Si? _Clary frowned as she went into the lunch room with her thoughts scattered all over the place. She used to like lunch when she sat with Si, Ragnor, and Jordan but now all Jordan and Ragnor did was mope or glare at her and Simon was just different. He would say hi to her and even engage in conversation but his eyes were different; instead of being the warm, slightly dazed, deep brown she'd loved, they were hard and unforgiving; she couldn't read him anymore and it scared her.

Clary didn't know what to do when, yet again, he said hi to her and then turned back to his food. Ragnor and Jordan just sat there looking slightly annoyed that she still sat with them at lunch. Clary was officially fed up, "Okay what the hell did I do to make y'all hate me so suddenly. I don't know what is up your asses but you better tell me right now!" Clary realized she was starting to yell so she stopped talking to reign in her emotions.

Simon just stared at her and his eyes hardened even more while he said, "Oh don't act dumb, Clary. Look, I'll even give in first, how about we forget about what happened and you can go sit with Goldie Locks over there. I won't even care. Just stop pretending, you know how much I hate that." With that he turned back to stare straight ahead and took a sip of tea.

Clary just stared at him in shock. _How- What- Huh? How does he know I think about Jace... Oh god... "_Simo-" Simon turned to glare at her, "Stop making this harder than it actually is, Clary. Just leave and go over to him. I don't know what's going on between you two but obviously it means more to you than I do so just go."

Clary didn't know what to do; she just sat there shocked and frozen. _He doesn't know what he's talking about. Nothing has hap- well some things have but nothing serious. Nothing like what Si and I did. Nothing ever will happen. He should know that. I love SIMON. I have no feel- okay sigh... I can't even.. _Clary tried once more to talk to Simon, "Noth-" She got interrupted again when he got up and yelled, "JUST FUCKING GO, CLARY. GOD DAMMIT. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE."

Clary got up quickly and ran out of the cafeteria with tears in her eyes. _Simon never yells at me. He knows I don't like yelling. What the hell have I done. _Clary ran the halls not really paying attention to where she was going until she found herself outside. She looked around and realized she was at the football field. She quickly went under the bleachers and hid in a corner.

She let her tears out and cried until she heard a voice say, "Hey.. I heard Simon yell at you. He really shouldn't have done that. Are you alright?" Clary looked up and met Jace's eyes, she immediately stood up and crushed herself into him and balled her eyes out. She felt his arms go around her and rub circles into her back soothingly. She instantly relaxed and stopped crying. Clary stood back a little and looking into Jace's golden eyes; she forgot why she was so upset. Simon would understand eventually, what she felt for Jace just wouldn't go away. _Everything about him is golden; his tan, his hair, his eyes, his smile, everything. _

He brought his hands to her face to wipe off her tears while she kept staring into his eyes. She knew she should look away but she couldn't. Now she knew how Simon knew she was developing feelings for Jace; once she met his eyes she couldn't look away. He leaned in slowly, giving her time to move away but she didn't. She pressed her lips into his and fell into the kiss.

**Simon**

"JUST FUCKING GO, CLARY. GOD DAMMIT. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE." Simon just yelled at Clary but he couldn't bring himself up to care. He gave up caring that night at the cabin. He just couldn't do it anymore; It hurt too much. He watched her run away and slowly sat back down.

He sighed and looked over at Jordan and Ragnor, "I'm sorry.. I just couldn't take her pretending anymore." Jordan got up and went to sit on one side of Simon while Ragnor sat on the other. Jordan said, "No, it's okay man. We understand." Simon felt relieved and said, "Jordan, can I stay over with you for a few days. I've been staying at the cabin but I'm running out of clothes and I don't want Clary going back home to her father. I'll rent an apartment for her or something eventually." No matter how Simon felt towards how Clary broke his heart, he would still protect her from her poor excuse for a father. Jordan said, "Stay as long as you like and I'll help you look for an apartment. I'll talk to Clary about it, too."

Simon thanked Jordan and said goodbye to him and Ragnor before he went to his last few classes of the day. All throughout the day he tried not to think about Clary. He tried desperately to not form theories in his mind about what happened between her and Jace, but it didn't work. By the end of the day he made up several theories about it and they kept getting worse and worse.

By the time he got to Jordan's apartment, he was dragging under the weight of his hopelessness. He unlocked the door with the spare key Jordan gave him a while back and collapsed into the couch. Jordan got there soon after and sat next to him, "Hey, man. I think it's time we start talking about this whole Clary thing." Simon sighed and looked at Jordan, "I know I should't have screamed but I can't make myself care anymore. I just wanted her to stop pretending around me. It was so obvious..."

Simon closed his eyes as they betrayed him and started producing tears. As one fell down his cheek to drop on his shirt he felt Jordan come closer and wipe it off. "Hey, stop it. No crying, remember? It's over now. We just have to tie all the loose ends up and then we can get started on fixing you okay? Let's go find a decent apartment for Clary since I know you don't want her to go over to her house. We can come back here and watch LoTR. That sound okay?"

Simon nodded and sighed as he leaned into the hug his best friend was giving him. _Jordan is right. I just need to listen to Jordan and everything will get better. I just need to get everything settled and then try not to feel so broken. It'll be over soon. I hope.. _


	12. HELP

**Hello lovely internet people, I'm so sorry for doing this, I hate it when people do it, but I'm having difficulties transitioning this story. **

**I suppose it's called writers block? I'm not really sure at the moment. **

**But.. if you could help me out it would be much appreciated because I might just scrap this story and call it quits if I don't find a way to make it better. **

**I'll admit it started out good but just became a jumbled mess of I don't know what. **

**So yea, if y'all could help me I'd be really grateful!**

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**On a completely unrelated note, I am currently taking recommendations for new stories. So if you want a story to be written, message me about it, and I'll try to write it for you :)**

**Or you can tell me about the stories you've written and we can have a nice chat. **

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**Again I apologize for this annoying-not-a-chapter thing that may have gotten your hopes up. I'm sorry. **

**Goodbye you little dragons. **


	13. Famous Last Words

**Clary**

Clary fell into the kiss with Jace and pressed into him. She didn't stop to think about Simon or her father or what was going to happen afterwards. All she felt and thought about was Jace against her, his hands on her hips and his lips slowly playing with hers.

She broke away to get air and smiled up at him. "Wow, I umm..." She saw Jace blush and she smiled. _His blush looks really good..._ "That was incredible, Clary." He grabbed her hand and squeezed, "Go on a date with me later this week or this weekend?" Clary was suddenly forced into reality, _I could go on a date with him can't I..? No. Simon and I are fighting.. he knows about Jace and I. I can't do that to him... But I think I might be developing some serious feelings for Jace.. _

Clary sighed as her thoughts kept turning in circles and she said, "Honestly, Jace, I don't know. I've been staying with Simon for a few weeks and I don't know what's going to happen after we actually talk things through. I'll give you my number though and we can talk or something." Clary gave him her number as the bell that signaled the end of lunch went off.

"I have to get to class. I'll see you later, Jace" She smiled at him and walked off to her favorite class of the day, art. She loved drawing and today was no different, she painted an abstract piece with swirls of grey and black with dashed swirls of different sorts of color. The painting depicted her confused thoughts of Simon and the bright, electric feeling that Jace gave her. After she was done with the class she felt better but he just got worse as her day went on.

Clary couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Simon was probably going to kick her out of his house. She was scared to move back in with her father after so long, all of her bruises and cuts have healed, but she knew she deserved it. _Telling Simon I loved him, making love to him, and then flirting with Jace in front of him... Hell, it's a wonder that karma, the universe, God, whatever, hasn't gotten to me before. I deserve whatever my dad gives me because I fucked Simon over.._

Clary sighed as the end of school bell went off, she was dreading going to see her father, but she knew it must be done. She was on her way to walk to Simon's house to pick up her stuff when she got a call from Jordan. "Hey, Clary, where are you?" Clary's eyes widened because she was surprised that Jordan would talk to her after everything went down, "Umm I'm on my way to get my stuff from Simon's to bring back to my father's house." She heard Jordan sigh and say, "Clary you know he wouldn't make you move back there. Don't leave his house, stay there for a few days. Simon and I are going to look at apartments soon to rent for you."

"Jordan, I cant le-" Jordan interrupted her, "Clary, do you really think any of us let Simon actually do anything. He's stubborn, we all know that. Just thank him, Clary, and be done with it." Jordan's voice sounded tired so Clary said okay and hung up. _He's going to rent me an apartment.. after I was a completely asshole to him... I don't deserve this.. _

Clary dejectedly made her way towards Simon's house and fell unceremoniously on Simon's bed. His parents were always gone, after Maia they just didn't want to be around each other, and so Clary was all alone. Suddenly she got a text from a number she didn't recognize, **_Hey Clary. This is Jace. Is it too soon to be texting you? lol. _**Clary smiled and answered, **_Hi Jace. No it isn't too soon. What's up? _**They continued texting back and forth until they fell asleep.

**Jace**

Jace fell asleep while he was texting Clary and hide a nice, although slightly erotic, dream about her. He got rudely woken up by a text from Alec telling him to get his ass out of bed. He groaned and got up to take a shower. They decided that today was going to be the day he talked to Ariella, and hopefully Gavin.

Jace was a pile of nerves as he got into Alec's car. They were on their way to pick up Magnus when Jace said, "What if she won't let me?" He'd been thinking about that all morning and couldn't get it out of his head. _What if she won't let me. He'll grow up thinking I abandoned him. I'll be WORSE than my parents... Oh fucking hell she HAS to! I'm his father. He needs his father. I need him.. She has to.. _

Jace started to itch his wrist, causing some scars to open up, as his thoughts swirled in a never ending spiral. Alec looked over and said, "Jace, stop. Don't scratch. She'll let you. She has to. There are no legal documents saying you can see your son and you have rights. We will get it sorted, I promise. You aren't alone." Alec parked in front of the address Magnus gave them and he got out of the car to get Magnus.

As he was waiting, Jace couldn't help but notice the way Alec suddenly got nervous. He shrugged, _I really wish Alec would admit to me that he is gay and he is crushing on my shrink. _Jace grinned as Magnus gave Alec a surprise hug. _Maybe I should talk to him about it. _

Magnus and Alec got into the car and they headed for the address Magnus found on Ariella. "Thank you for coming, Magnus. I really appreciate you spending your Saturday on me." Magnus just laughed and said, "My pleasure, Jace. Although this is a tad out of protocol, I've never really felt all that professional with you anyways." Jace smiled and said, "Yeah, I consider you a friend, too, Magnus."

Alec turned on the music then and they all sat in peaceful silence until he pulled up at Ariella's house. Jace suddenly got extremely nervous, his hands were twitching and he really just wanted to scratch himself more because he was feeling so anxious. "Guys, I don't know if I can handle it if she says no."

Magnus just sighed and said, "Jace, you can handle it." Alec said, "Yeah, Jace. You'll be okay. You aren't alone, I'll be here always. And she can't say no remember? You signed nothing." Jace nodded, glad he brought his friends with him, and got out of the car. He walked, determined, across the street and knocked on the front door. After a few minutes the door opened and he said, "Hello, Ariella. I want to see my son."


End file.
